Feelings?
by HetaliaMaraudersForever
Summary: Arthur loves Alfred, but it seems Alfred has forgotten about Arthur. What will Arthur do? How will Alfred react to it all?
1. Missing

_Even though I'm the sacrifice,_

_You won't try for me,_

_Not now_

Arthur sobbed silently, his face in his palm. His gun was down and his soldiers stood down. He heard Alfred trying to say something, but didn't seem to be able to form anything coherent. Arthur wiped his tears away and looked up to glare half-heartedly at the younger blonde.

"Arthur... I'm sorry it has to be like this-"

"Sorry? You're not sorry, America." The words came out slightly cracked. Alfred flinched and looked hurt as Arthur had called him "America" instead of "Alfred".

"Iggy, please.." Alfred tried to beg but Arthur only laughed coldly, blood splattering the man before him.

"Iggy? Haven't heard that name in what seems millenia. Though I know it's only been about a century.." Arthur turned his head away as fresh tears threatened to spill.

_Though I'd die to know you love me,_

_I'm all alone..._

"Just do it America, kill me. Make it painless or painful, I don't really care either way..."

"I can't..." Alfred said, dropping his head. "I love you too much, Iggy.."

~Le Present~

Arthur was sitting in his office with his head in his hands. He was sobbing to himself quietly as he replayed the past. It had been over 200 years, he should have forgotten about the past. But he couldn't. Especially not when Alfred seemed to be ignoring him. After the Revolutionary War, Alfred never really spoke to him again. Even at the World or Allied Meetings, he seemed to ignore Arthur. And lately, Arthur had been cooped up in his country, in his house and office room.

_Isn't someone missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

Arthur screamed and threw the bottle of scotch across the room. How could Alfred just forget about him, ignore him like that? Alfred seemed to have moven on, probably in a relationship. Like with Feliciano or Kiku. It may have seemed odd, but Feliciano and him had formed an alliance not too long ago, so no more wars happened between them. And Kiku...well Alfred and him had pretty much always been friends.

_You forgot about me long ago,_

_Am I that unimportant?_

_Am I so insignificant?_

Arthur stood up shakily, walking across the room and to his door. Maybe he should talk to Alfred, force him to notice Arthur.

_Please, please forgive me,_

_But I won't be home again_

Arthur grabbed his jacket, some money, and exited his house. He pulled his jacket tightly around him as he walked down the streets of his capital, London. He was walking to the airport, going to buy himself a plane ticket to America. He was going to talk to Alfred again, whether it was the last thing he did.

As Arthur walked down the street, so many thoughts whirling through his head. None of them worrying about how long he would have to wait for a plane ticket, or if Alfred was actually in America instead of some other country.

Arthur was so caught up in his thoughts, he didn't even hear the horn blaring.

Alfred never heard of it. He was oblivious to everything except for his own business, and for the time being, Russia's and Ukraine's. So Alfred never found out.

_Isn't someone missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

And Alfred had never thought of Arthur since the Revolutionary War.

_Though I'd die to know you love me,_

_I'm all alone..._


	2. Truth

UsUk Story

Alfred hummed as he drove to a world meeting. He didn't know why, but all of a sudden there was a meeting scheduled. So, Alfred being Alfred, was late.

He finally got to the huge building the meeting was taking place in. He parked his car, grabbed the McDonald's bag, got out, and locked it. He'd had experiences with burglars before, but he was the hero and took care of them pretty quickly.

Walking into the building, and showing the guard his pass, he walked to the meeting. When he got there, it was dealthy silent. He raised an eyebrow in confusion before grinning his hero grin.

"Dudes, what's the matter with all of you? Where's your lively spirit?" He asked as he thrust his hands into the air, Mickey D bag going as well. Everyone sort of glared at him but he wasn't fazed by it.

He strutted to the head of the table and sat down, immediately chomping on a burger. He ate for a few seconds before he realized it was still silent. No one was talking, flirting, or even fighting. They were all just staring at him.

He gulped down his burger and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "What?" He asked stupidly as they all glared at him.

"Do you even know why you are here, Amerika?" Ivan asked, a purple aura surrounding him.

"Er, because you guys randomly scheduled a meeting, and being the party poopers you are, I had to come or risk being yelled at?" He asked sarcastically, snorting.

"He doesn't even care what happened to his own...caretaker."

"Maybe he doesn't know?"

"How could he not know?"

There were random conversations going around about Alfred and...Arthur? Alfred frowned in confusion and looked around. Why were they talking about Arthur?

Then, he heard a snippet of the conversation.

"What happened to Artie?" He asked as he stared at everyone, them all staring back. Alfred immediately felt a pang of regret and guiltiness. Artie= Arthur. He hadn't thought about him in a long time. The last time Arthur had crossed his mind was when he was sick, and then Alfred had to take care of him. Being the hero he was, he used hamburgers as medicine.

"He got hit by a car."

Alfred froze as he heard that, his whole body and brain going numb. "Arthur...was hit by a car?"

"Well, a truck more like."

Alfred took all this information in. Suddenly he jumped up, spilling his drink over that just so happened to be there. "Where is he? I need to talk to him!" All the other nations just stared glumly at one another.

"Alfred.. you might wanna sit down for this."

~Time Skip~

Alfred felt the tears well up as he stared at Arthur's body. He bit his lip, trying to hold them in. He brought flowers and set them beside Arthur. He gently caressed his face, looking at his pale, bruised face.

How could this have happened? Why did it happen? No one knew, because Arthur hadn't woken up yet.

Alfred was in a hospital sitting by Arthur, holding his hand. The flowers laid on the bedside by him. Monitors were beeping slowly, as Arthur's heart was weak. Apparently, Arthur was walking somewhere when he had been hit by a truck.

As soon as Alfred had been told that, he rushed to get a plane ticket to London. He anxiously waited for days before the plane finally landed. Alfred didn't even bother paying for a hotel room, he went straight to the hospital Francis had written down.

Matthew went with him, Alfred occasionally forgetting he was even there. But he realized it was him as soon as he saw the bear.

Matthew had just walked in with two cups of coffee. He set one down by Alfred, the other in his own hands.

"The doctors think Arthur was going to the airport," Matthew began softly. "Some bystanders had seen him get hit, and he wasn't far from the airport so they assumed that was where he was going."

Alfred frowned at this. Why would Arthur be going to the airport? Was he going to visit somebody. Alfred sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes.

He had been by Arthur's side for days, never sleeping. When the nurses tried to get him to sleep, he only got a couple of hours. He was too worried about Arthur.

He bit his lip as he put his glasses back on. "Do they know when he might wake up?" Apparently Arthur had been in a coma for nearly two weeks. Alfred knew that sometimes when people went into comas for a while, they ended up dying. But Arthur wouldn't die. Alfred just knew it. Mostly because nations can never really die. Just take a look at Gilbert.

Alfred normally loved coffee, but he wasn't in the mood for it. Or soda. Or even hamburgers. He refused to eat or drink. Not until he was sure Arthur would be okay and he would wake up.

~Time Skip~

Alfred jolted awake. He rubbed his eyes to get the sleep out and yawned. He looked over to find a pair of green eyes locked on him.

He jumped back slightly before he realized it was Arthur. Alfred grinned with hysteria to see he had finally awoken.

"Artie..." He said in barely a whisper and then jumped to give him a bone-crushing hug. Arthur just pushed him off, or tried to. Alfred only pulled away when the nurses tried to tug him off.

Alfred surprised himself to find tears rolling down his cheeks. He became even more surprised when Arthur spoke, and it didn't sound croaky.

"Don't act like you care about me." He said firmly, crossing his arms. Alfred looked confused. What did he mean? Of course he cared about him, it was his brother! Well, not exactly his brother. More like ex-caregive/guardian.

"What are you talking about? I do care about you. You're my..." Alfred struggled to find the right word. Not brother, nor guardian, not even really friend or allies. Arthur just raised an eyebrow.

"I'm your what?" When Alfred couldn't answer, Arthur snorted. Then he spoke more quietly. "Exactly. You don't care about. You didn't even know what had happened and didn't care to know until someone actually told you!" He raised his voice.

Alfred tried to speak but Arthur just shook his head. Not like it mattered, Alfred couldn't get any sound out.

"For about a century now you haven't cared about me. Have you even thought about me since... since the war?" Alfred could only halfway nod a yes before Arthur said, "Or since that time I was sick?"

Alfred bit his lip again, shame, guilt, and regret flooding him. He felt like he was drowning, suffocating.

"I-I'm so-"

"No, you're not. Don't even talk bullshit to me."

Alfred's eyes widened as he stared at Arthur. He rarely heard him curse unless he was saying ''Bloody Hell!". Other than that, he never cursed. He remembered the one time he dared to curse in front of him. It was well after the war, and when Alfred had taken care of him. Alfred had said "Fuck", and even though he was sick, Arthur managed to get out of bed and shove soap into his mouth.

Alfred tried to speak again but Arthur cut him off again.

"Do you even know why I'm like this? Why I was hit by a truck? Because I was on my way to the airport. To buy a ticket- for you. I was going to see you. Do you know why?"

Alfred shook his head dumbly, surprised Arthur was planning on seeing him- which meant this was technically his fault.

"Because I love you, more than an ex-guardian should."

Alfred froze once again as he heard that.

Arthur what?


	3. Forever and Always

Alfred wasn't sure how to feel about that. Arthur loved him? And more than an "ex-guardian"? What was that supposed to mean? Then Alfred mentally slapped himself for asking such a stupid question. It obviously meant Arthur loved-loved Alfred. But those weren't the right questions. The right question is:

How does Alfred feel?

That was the big question.

How did he feel? He didn't know. He loved him, but like a brother. He loved him the normal, right way. Arthur wasn't supposed to feel that way about him. In fact, Alfred was shocked to find out that Arthur was gay.

Or was he bisexual?

Pan?

Who knew with Arthur. He was so... so- tsundere. That was the word. And Alfred was pretty much an open book.

Oh great, another question.

Was Alfred gay?

He didn't know. He'd dated a few girls. But never a dude. He'd never thought that much about dating a guy. It just never occured to him. So what was he? He liked girls, that was for sure. He'd lost his virginity to a girl.

There were times when he thought about dating a guy, and even fucking one, but it was like a second thought. It didn't last for long.

Maybe Alfred was bisexual.

He wasn't sure. But now that Arthur said he loved him, it made him think about his sexuality a whole lot more. And his feelings for Arthur.

He saw Arthur waiting impatiently for him to say something. But what was there to say? 'Oh, sorry I'll get back to you after the beep.' And then the monitor might decided to beep.

Alfred sat there grinding his teeth, shifting in his seat at the awkward silence.

"Cool." Was all Alfred said.

Alfred's eyes widened slightly at what he had just said and facepalmed as he saw Arthur's annoyed and hurt face. Great. Now Alfred really seemed like an insensitive, oblivious "git", in Arthur's words.

_~Back up, baby back up~_

"Er, I mean... H-how long have you felt this way?" Alfred tried again as the shorter blond narrowed his eyes.

"Since the war."

~_Did you forget everything?~_

The war. That always brought back bad memories on the Fourth of July, or his "birthday". It wasn't technically his birthday, he just celebrated for his independence.

_~Cause I was there when you said, "Forever and Always"~_

_~Were you just kidding? Cuz it seems to me,~_

_~This thing is breaking down we almost never speak,~_

_~I don't feel welcome anymore~_

"I thought you felt the same. I remember, you said, _I love you. _Were you just kidding? Because it seems that way. You and me haven't spoken in years."

Alfred took in his words. Then he sighed and shook his head.

~_Baby, what happened? Please tell me~_

_~Cuz one second it was perfect,~_

_~Now you're halfway out the door~_

"I'm sorry, Artie," Alfred couldn't help but notice how Arthur cringed at the nickname, "I meant I loved you as a _brother. _Nothing more, nothing less."

Alfred bit his lip as he noticed Arthur's eyes fill with tears.

~_And you feel so low, you can't feel nothing at all~_

Arthur just turned his head away and said, "Whatever. I don't care. Just leave."

~_Everything is wrong~_

Alfred sat rooted to his chair. When Arthur didn't hear any rustling or footsteps he looked over, glaring, tears spilling down his cheeks.

"I said _Leave_!" He said through gritted teeth. Alfred tried to say something, anything. But he couldn't get anything out. So he stood up and walked out, feeling upset and confused.

~_You didn't mean it, baby~_


	4. Moping

Arthur collapsed in his bed and hid his face in his hands, sobbing. Just like during the war.

He couldn't believe how much of an idiot he was. How could he possibly think Alfred felt the same way? In fact, it didn't even seem like Alfred _had _feelings. He was just a... a...

An idiot. An idiot that Arthur can't help but be in love with. And what made him change his mind? After all those years of never talking, Alfred practically ignoring him, he actually decides to come and visit him? When he was in a hospital, too. It seems like Alfred doesn't care to visit unless something is wrong with Arthur.

This lifted his spirits.

Sure, Alfred rarely visited, but he did care. If he didn't, he wouldn't have come at all. He would've just said, _To hell with it._ But he didn't. He came and visited Arthur.

But why couldn't he visit more often?

Arthur curled his legs in and held them, crying into his knees. He hated feeling so weak, so inferior. He hated having feelings. Why couldn't he just be emotionless? Like that weird story Kiku had showed him. It was a creepy story, and all Arthur could remember of the genre was 'pasta'. He had a feeling Feliciano might have been behind that creepy story.

Anyway, back to Alfred.

Alfred, Alfred, Alfred.

"Oh Alfred, why don't you love me back?" Arthur asked himself this question over and over. Did he do something wrong? Maybe it was just one of those things where you don't like that person. It's not like they did anything, it's just that you didn't have feelings for that person.

Like Francis. Well, he was a frog.

Or Ivan. Wait, he's creepy.

Ok, Ludwig, then. There was no reason Arthur didn't have feelings for him, he just didn't. Maybe that is how Alfred felt. Or feels.

Arthur sighed as he laid back down, tired. He cried himself out, he didn't think anymore tears would come out if he tried.

He lulled himself to sleep with thoughts of Alfred.

Alfred walked down the hall of the hospital. He felt bad for making Arthur cry. But it was true. He didn't love Arthur in that way. Well, he hadn't back then. But now...?

Lately, he wasn't sure of anything. Did he want fries with that? What game should he play now? Those were the stupidest ones. Now though, he had a much bigger, more serious question.

Did he love Arthur?

Of course. Just not in that way. That he knew of. He tried to shake Arthur out of his head. He would just end up depressed with thoughts like that. He put on a smile, though it was lacking its normal... Ah, what was the word? All he knew was, he wasn't the hero anymore. Was he ever really?

Alfred stuffed his hands in his pockets, his dog tags slapping against his chest with ever step he took.

He walked out of the hospital and took a deep breath of the fresh air. Even if Arthur didn't want him there, he would go and visit him everyday. Hopefully when he was sleeping because Alfred thought Arthur looked much more serene and peaceful when sleeping.

But first, Alfred needed somewhere to sleep.

He walked down the street, not even bothering to ask anyone where the nearest motel was. He needed time to think. About...everything.

He occasionally bumped into people but that didn't bother him. He didn't even stop to say sorry. He just kept walking and ignored the death threats and curses.

Before he knew it, he was at a hotel. It looked pretty nice. Like it wasn't too much money, but it wasn't a shitty motel, either.

He walked in and up to the front desk, paying for a room. When asked where his trunks were, he looked down.

Oh, he forgot his stuff! Or as the British called it, "trunks". He just called it luggage.

He left it at the hospital, in Arthur's room. He was so upset that he left his stuff behind. He quickly explained he forgot it somewhere, and then he was given a key to his room. The guy behind the desk had his lips pursed.

Alfred took the key, pocketed it, and then went back out of the hotel.

Oh great. Now he would have to see Arthur again. For some reason, this made his stomach twist. He was just anxious to see Arthur again. That was all.

~Time Skip~

Alfred was in his hotel room, his clothes now stuffed in some dressers, shoes in the closets, and his bathroom stuff (comb, cologne, etc) in the bathroom.

While getting his stuff, he had found Arthur sound asleep. Just like he had hoped.

Yet he looked upset.

Even in his sleep he was upset. It hurt Alfred to look at him for too long. Especially knowing it was _his _fault for Arthur being so sad. He was probably angry at Alfred too, no doubt.

Alfred took a quick shower, dressed in some underwear, and then flopped on the bed. It was cold in the room, but he didn't feel like getting up and putting a shirt or pants on.

He folded his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. He didn't feel like ever getting up. He just wanted to lay there forever and die. Or weep. He was ADHD so he was obviously going to do something besides lay there.

He would try and mend his relationship with Arthur, but not tomorrow. Emotions would be too frayed, anything could set off a bomb of tears or yelling.

With that happy thought, he drifted off into sleep.

**A/N: So guys, this is a filler, as you can tell because normally I don't update for a few days. And thank you all for the reviews and favorites and follows. Yada yada yada. Yeah xD I love you guys and stay tuned. I don't know exactly how this will turn out, how it will end up, I'm just going with it, I guess. But again, thanks for reading and everything else.**


	5. This Kiss

It had been a few months since Arthur's incident and every day Alfred had went to see him. Yet, everyday Arthur pushed him away. So, here Alfred was in the hotel still. Arthur had gotten out of the hospital a month ago, but Alfred hasn't visited him in his own home yet.

And that's what Alfred planned on doing today.

He took a quick shower, running his comb through his hair. He threw on a leather jacket, skinny jeans, a white t-shirt, his dog tags, and some sneakers. He slipped his glasses on and sighed as he saw the bags and purple under his eyes.

He hadn't gotten any sleep the past couple of months. No matter how much he slept, whether 5 hours or 10, he always seemed to be drowsy.

He splashed his face with water, then brushed his teeth. He went down the hotel in the elevator, and walked out the hotel. He could easily walk to Arthur's house in 20 minutes. He didn't live far away from the hotel Alfred picked.

In no time, he was at Arthur's house. He inhaled deeply and knocked on the door. He waited for a count of 5 until knocking again. As Alfred counted to 15, Arthur opened the door, and Alfred let out his air, forgetting he was supposed to breath.

Arthur looked stunning. His green eyes glowing, his face the normal, non-sickly pale face of his, ruffled blond hair, and bushy eyebrows. Arthur was wearing a pair of tan slacks, a dark blue cardigan with a gray undershirt, and socks. He currently had a cup of tea in his hand and looked shocked.

"Alfred?" Arthur looked confused for a moment before his lips pursed and he slammed the door in his face. Alfred sighed and didn't even bother knocking, or banging, on the door. He opened it and walked it, but barely as Arthur was still standing there, his tea set on a nearby coffee, or tea, table. It was awkward as they were barely brushing together.

Arthur cleared his throat and backed away. Alfred shut the door and stared at Arthur.

"Is there some reason you're here?" Arthur asked in a, probably forced, polite tone.

"Yes, I need to talk to you." Arthur glared at him.

"No thanks." He started to turn away but Alfred grabbed his wrist and pulled him around.

"Listen! I need to talk about that... thing that happened at the hospital. When you said you loved me." Arthur avoided his gaze.

"I don't want to talk about that." He snatched his arm away from Alfred and brought out a plate with burnt scones. "Would you li-"

"No." Arthur pursed his lips once more and grit his teeth. He walked into the living room and set the platter down on the table. "I've been thinking about what you said..."

Arthur gave a grunt, very ungentlemanly like, and sat down on the couch, crossing his arms and legs. Alfred sat by him, a cushion away. He turned towards him, Arthur pointedly looking ahead.

"And I've decided that I love you. I really do." Arthur snorted and shook his head.

"You've _decided_? So it wasn't a realization, you've just _decided _to love me? Do LGBT people just _decide _they're gay? No, they come to the realization." Arthur turned to his right, Alfred sitting on his left, and searched for his tea but realized it was on the table closest to Alfred. He looked as though he'd just bitten into a lemon.

"I-I know, that's what I meant."

"I bet you did."

"Artie, listen-"

"Don't call me Artie when you couldn't care less about me!"

"But Artie, I do-"

"No America, don't even act like you care when you bloody well don't!"

"I do care about you! If I didn't, would I be here? Would I have been at the hospital?" Alfred questioned, raising an eyebrow as he turned Arthur's way.

Arthur just rolled his eyes as he turned to Alfred. "If you _truly_ cared, you would have talked to me. Actually talked to me! You're only there when I'm hurt and I'm pretty sure you're only there then so we can keep this stupid alliance, so you can continue trading with my country!" Arthur exploded again.

Alfred looked slightly hurt but sighed. "I know, I should have been there all the time. Not just when you were sick. But I didn't forget about you! Sure, there were times when I didn't think of you, like Mattie, but I never _truly _forgot. If I had, I wouldn't be here."

Arthur sighed and shook his head. Alfred didn't care about him. He just couldn't believe it. He felt his eyes watering and forced them away, refusing to look weak in front of Alfred. He bit his tongue to keep the emotions, words and tears, out and away. He jumped as he felt something warm touch his cold hands. He looked over and realized it was Alfred's hand. Arthur frowned half-heartedly as he saw how much bigger his was than Arthur's. Compared to Alfred, Arthur had girl hands. They were much smoother than Alfred's.

"Please," Alfred whispered, "believe me. I wouldn't have come all this way to lie to you. What point is there in that?"

"I don't know your motives. You might have a reason. And perhaps, Alfred, you're lying to yourself as well as me." Alfred was silent at that as he thought over his words. He was sure he loved Arthur. So he proved to him he did.

~Time Skip~

Arthur seemed to black out for the next five minutes. All he knew was something warm and slightly chapped was pressed against his lips, and he was pressing back.

~_This kiss, this kiss~_

Arthur was blissful as he ran his fingers through the soft, blond hair, enjoying the feel of Alfred's lips on his. He never knew how great it felt to kiss his brother, ex-brother, ex-colony, whatever it was.

_~It's perpetual bliss~_

_ ~It's that pivotal moment~_

Arthur's eyes fluttered open to see a pair of cerulean ones practically grinning. He backed up slightly to see Alfred really was grinning. This made Arthur smile like an idiot and then blush, looking down.

_ ~It's... ah... unthinkable~_

_ ~This kiss, this kiss~_

"Do you believe me now?" Alfred asked, the grin never leaving his face. Arthur looked up slightly, the smile faded slightly.

"I'm still unconvinced."

"What else can I do to convince you?"

"I don't know. I just..." Arthur trailed off, biting his lip. Alfred caressed his face, leaving chills down Arthur's spine.

Alfred knew exactly what he had to do, But first...

"Will you go out with me, Arthur?"


	6. Betrayal

Arthur stared at Alfred, unsure of what to say. He couldn't just say yes, could he? Sure, he loved Alfred, but was he really ready for a relationship?

Arthur pulled away and stood up, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, but no." Alfred got up and began protesting but Arthur shook his head. "I'm not ready, Alfred. After everything that's happened... I don't know. I still need convincing." He crossed his arms and looked away.

Alfred bit his lip, nodding. "O-okay. Okay, I understand. I guess I'll just leave." He turned around and began to walk out. He stopped by the door, turning to look at Arthur. He was still turned around, not even trying to stop him. Alfred nodded once more and walked out of the house.

~Time Skip~

Alfred sat in a bar later that night, drinking his feelings away. Currently with him was Gilbert and Ivan.

"Hey lady! We need another round over here!" Gilbert yelled boisterously, waving his hand wildly. Ivan was, surprisingly, trying to pick up women. Alfred snorted and shook his head and took another shot. He felt an arm touch his waist and he turned around, vision somewhat blurry though he still had his glasses on.

"Would you like to dance?" Asked a man who, in Alfred's opinion, was sexy. From what Alfred could tell in his drunken state, the man was obviously accented. Alfred loved accents.

"I would love to." He said, somehow not slurring his words. He took the strangers hand, being lead to the dancefloor. He grinned and began dancing with the man in sensual ways.

He felt the man wrap his arms around him and whisper into his ear, "I didn't know you could be so fun when drunk, Alfred.." Alfred's brain slowly processed the words, and along with the words, who the voice belonged to.

"Give me a couple more shots, and I'll show you how much more fun I could be~" The man grinned and did just that.

Let's just say, those two had fun that night, Alfred not once thinking of the green-eyed man who had broken his heart.

~Time Skip~

Arthur showed up the meeting early that morning, as he always did. He was surprised to see Antonio there, along with his friends Francis and Gilbert.

"I was watching you two the whole time, and it sure looked like you had fun, kesesese." Gilbert said, snickering.

Francis smirked and asked, "I'm assuming more happened when you two left to the back of the bar?" Antonio nodded. None of them noticed Arthur walk in or notice how he was listening, a somewhat amused look on his face.

"Yes, he was real good. He was a bit sloppy, as he was drunk, but I bet he would've been a better lover had he been sober."

"Was it his first time?"

"Yes, I could tell. But for his first time, Alfred surely made that one of the best sex experiences I've ever had."

Arthur felt his heart drop into his stomach. What? Alfred and Antonio? This all happened yesterday? Arthur felt tears well up in his eyes. He was right to trust his instincts. Alfred telling Arthur he loved him and then going and shagging Antonio. He was snapped out of his thoughts by a voice.

"Morning, dudes! I've got a killer headahce, and man are my hips hurting." Alfred came in, shaking his head. He paused as he saw Arthur, then a grin lit up his face. "Hey Artie! Have a nice night?" He asked as he walked to the front of the table, setting his suitcase down.

A few other countries came in as Alfred had, talking amongst themselves and sitting at the table. Arthur shook with silent fury.

"No, but I know you did." Alfred looked up at him, all signs of joy gone. Instead, panic and regret were written across his face. All the countries stopped talking to listen to them. "I was just listening to _Antonio _talking about how wonderful you are in bed." Arthur spat out the name like it was trash.

Alfred stood up and began to walk over to Arthur. "Artie, listen..."

"No! Don't tell me to listen! I've done enough listening. I knew I shouldn't have trusted you. I told you to prove to me you actually loved me, and what do you do? Go off and shag someone else!" Alfred flinched at his accusing words and looked around him.

"Can we go talk somewhere else...?" He began in a quiet voice. Arthur glared at him.

"Oh, embarressed are we? You should be! You should be ashamed after everything- everything that you've done-" Arthur faltered and turned away from him. "I hate you. I hate how I love you even after you do these things, I hate how you are so contradicting, I hate everything about you." Arthur felt tears running down his face but didn't care if the other countries saw it. He knew all the other countries had shown up by now, even if it was quiet and everyone was listening to their conversation.

"Please, Arthur, I can explain-"

"Oh, that's rich! _I can explain_, you don't need to explain anything. I know just how much of a lying scumbag you are now. Just leave me alone and don't ever talk to me again."

With that, Arthur walked out, leaving Alfred staring after him and the countries staring at Alfred.


	7. Dollhouse

_You're way too old to be,_

_Putting me down like this,_

_And playing around like this._

_'Cause I ain't a doll._

Arthur hated Alfred. He was just toying with Arthur, like he was a doll. A plastic toy who had no feelings and could be played with. That was exactly what Alfred had treated him like. And Arthur let him everytime.

Arthur turned around and was surprised to see Alfred wasn't following him. _Whatever, I don't want the git to follow me anyway. He'd just make up another lie, I'd believe him, and then the cycle would start all over again. Will I never learn? _He got in his car and drove home.

He heard his phone ring and glanced down, looking at the ID first. He saw it was Matthew but reluctantly answered it.

"Hello?" He said tiredly.

"A-Arthur, it's me, Matthew." Arthur rolled his eyes but said nothing. "I was wondering...what exactly happened between you and Alfred?"

Arthur's grip tightened on the phone and he gritted his teeth. He forced the tears back, like so many other times, and wondered how to answer Matthew without getting teary-eyed.

"Well... let's just say I fell for Alfred. I thought he fell for me too, but then he went and shagged Antonio. Of course, there's more to it, but I'm putting it short and sweet." He grimaced at the word 'sweet'.

"O-oh, okay. Well I talked to him about it, a-and his version was slightly different."

"And why wouldn't it be? That's how it always goes. And only one side is really true."

Matthew was quiet for a while, then he said, "Well we've decided to cancel the meeting. Everyone is going home. Some are going back to their countries and some are staying in England."

Arthur frowned. It was nice to have other countries over, mostly so they can see how wonderful his country is, but today he didn't want any visitors. He sighed and said, "Alright. I'm going home anyway."

"Don't lose yourself in drink. That's what happened to Alfred." With that, he hung up.

Arthur kept the frown on his face. What was that supposed to mean? Alfred lost himself in drink? Was Matthew trying to tell him Alfred only had sex with Antonio was because he was drunk?

_This is my heart,_

_It's not a toy._

_So what's with you playing with my mind?_

Arthur wanted to believe it, but his heart wouldn't let him. It was too battered to believe anything. Not after he'd been screwed over so many times.

_We used to be cool,_

_This used to be love,_

_Now it's become, something like a job._

Arthur sighed and stopped at a red light, laying his head against the steering wheel. He noticed how stressed he was over his relationship with Alfred. He never got this stressed unless it had to do with his job as a country and dealing with other countries.

He banged his head against the wheel repeatedly, ignoring his horn honking and others yelling at him. He looked up as the light turned green and he turned. He quickly made it to his house and parked his car, getting out.

He made his way into his house and into the kitchen. While making tea, he tried to push Alfred out of his mind. Flying Mint Bunny came up to him and tried to talk to him, but Arthur ignored her. He sat down at his table and drank his tea, not really noticing the how scalding hot it was. He jumped as he heard his doorbell and cursed as his tea got everywhere.

After Arthur had cleaned up, he hastily opened the door. "Yes?"

"These are for you." The man answered in a gruff voice. Arthur looked down at the flowers and a note tucked in them. His face turned red as he knew immediately who they were from. He nodded to the man as he left and walked over to his couch.

He flipped the card over and read, _To my love, from A.J. _Arthur's face turned even more red, from embarrassment or anger he didn't know.

_I know I keep screwing up, but you have to know that I'm used to this 'love' thing. I've never really dated anyone, and the ones I have dated, I never loved. Maybe this isn't love, maybe I'm _in _love. But whatever it is, know it's for you and only you._

Arthur didn't even realize tears were running down his face until he heard himself sob.

_That thing with Antonio, I never meant for it to happen. We were both drunk, but I do remember screaming your name instead of Antonio's._

Once again, his face was red.

_Anyway, this is getting long. I know you probably think I'm toying with your emotions, but really, I'm just trying to make sense of mine._

_ Love,_

_ Alfred F. Jones_

Arthur's hand shook as he touched one of the flowers. How did Alfred know his favorite flower was a Tudor rose?

Arthur set the flowers in a vase and then walked up to his room, placing the note on his dresser. He sat on his bed, thinking over what he had read.

_If you can't understand,_

_Loving the way I am,_

_Then you're no good for me,_

_So glad I kept my receipt._

But the thing was, Alfred did love him. Or, at least Arthur thought. He really was getting mixed signals from this guy. He still wasn't sure whether to believe Alfred, even though the letter just gave him so many emotions. He didn't think Alfred could get that sappy.

Arthur looked at his watch and noticed it was only 1 o'clock.

Great, how was he going to spend the rest of his day?


End file.
